Monday, May 21, 2007

The Dark Side of Compliments

We've all done it... A friend of yours loses weight, or appears to have, and the first thing you do is tell them just that. "Wow, you've lost some weight! You're looking great!" You may think you're just doing them a favor, but that just goes to further instill the idea that fat does equal bad. In fact, I've read many accounts of girls who go on dangerous crash diets or come down with an illness, be it an eating disorder or a sickness that goes beyond being a mental one, only to find people with good intentions cheering them on. All this does is make someone want to lose even more weight and push even harder. I know it's a rather difficult situation to be in because really, if you do compliment them they could hurt themselves further, or if you don't they might be hurt and think no one has noticed their achievements! It's really not a good situation to be in, but I think the most diplomatic way to go about doing this is to simply reinforce the beauty that they always possessed, and congratulate them on doing so well with meeting a goal, but ask them what they feel is their healthy weight to be at. Make sure they know that every person does have the right weight for them, and that considerably missing that mark could mean serious health problems depending on the speed at which said weight is reached and how they have to keep it that way. Make sure they know that even if their natural weight is in the area of 200 pounds, it really is okay. Natural is best, after all!



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