As a matter of fact, I wouldn't say that fat admirers are any more likely to be sexist than non-fat admiring men and women. Some may wish to claim that men who prefer women with fat are still treating them like an object, thus making them sexist. I find this argument to be similar to the one people occasionally try and make which pins homosexuals as pedophiles. Because the sexual preference deviates from the norm it is then assumed that they must be sex crazed individuals who would do anything, including children. Fat admirers can also often be pinned as weight gain obsessed, often leading to the assumption that they would be willing to force feed someone against their will simply for their own sexual gratification. These, of course, are all silly arguments. Just as no one body is exactly the same, no one sexuality is exactly the same. Since of all movements the fat acceptance movement should know this, then why are fat admirers often looked down upon even within our own group?
I am currently dating a fat admirer. He reads fat acceptance blogs, is open about his preference, considers himself a feminist, and accepts my body completely as it is. He is just as much into fat rights as I am, and he loves me for who I am; whether my weight be 280 pounds, 350 pounds, or 200 pounds. He would never want me to change who I naturally am for his own "sexual gain," so when I see people within the movement label fat admirers as "creepy" or something of the sort, I feel bad for him and I feel bad for what we're doing in general for fat acceptance. Of course, not everyone in the movement dislikes fat admirers.
There are some posts in the fatosphere that display fat admiration in a positive light. I found one that stuck out through a quick search through my everyday blogs, like this one written by a fat admirer guest writer on Shapely Prose called Differently Straight. He explains well that it's not just about looking past a woman's fat, nor is it dating a fat woman because she's perceived to be easy. It's a preference that should be seen as no different from preferring a certain hair color that is often looked down upon by society. There exists a message board aimed towards fat admirers who also enjoy anime (Click at your own risk... Many members are young and immature about their preference, and some parts of the forum might either make you feel even hotter due to the sizes of women they love, or feel even more like an object and result in your feminist side being angry). On this forum, before I learned as much as I have now about fat acceptance and fat admirers, I asked these fat admirers how "coming out" was for them (see post here). A lot of the responses were surprisingly sad, explaining how much their families would/do hate them for dating fat women and such. Sometimes it seems that the hatred of fat extends so far that simply preferring a fat person over a skinny person is enough to discriminate against them too. And when it extends so far that even those involved in the fat acceptance movement dislike fat admirers, I would almost venture to say that fat admirers can be in an even worse situation, where not only general society discriminates against their preference, but they can also be looked down upon in the one place they may expect to fit in: the fat acceptance group.
In The Rotund's newest post by a guest blogger, I Am Mad at Candye Kane is mostly about being honest about one's weight. The writer threw in little comments about fat admirers though that made her seem a little less accepting as one should aspire to be in the fatosphere. She makes statements such as "[in regards to Candye Kane's songs] Some of them are borderline BBW/chubby-chaser-esque which makes me cringe...", and "[about the usage of fat terms in personal ads]... Forget about using the dread word 'fat' in a personal because it only brings out the fetishists, and they don’t want me any more than I want them." This wasn't the focus of the article of course, but a fat person doesn't have to be the center of a television show in order to showcase a dislike for them and have it be an issue.
I suppose all of this rambling is to make the point that fat admirers are not creepy fetishists who care only about fat. They're not sexist, they don't take advantage of fat women because of their size and sometimes fragile opinions of themselves, and in addition to that they're truly an important area of fat acceptance that people often overlook or feel disgusted by. There are always going to be people who go against what I've stated fat admirers to be, and that's to be expected. Perverts are perverts, regardless of the preference they have to be perverted towards. Just because a preference is perceived to be perverse, most definitely does not make it so. I for one am entirely happy with my dating a fat admirer, as it is wonderful having someone who loves every single bit of me, and finds every bit of my body attractive. It may be odd for some people to accept that a part of themselves they once hated becomes something a significant other is attracted to, but to think of it as being no different as someone preferring blondes over brunettes, et cetera, it really doesn't seem so strange, does it? So next time you come across a fat admirer, don't write them off as someone with a creepy fetish, but keep in mind that they are most likely just like you or me, only they really like that which most of us at one point hated: fat.
ALSO: I have yet to receive any entries for my forties friday, so I've decided to make it all inclusive of all ages and call it Fabulous Fatty Friday! Anyone can submit pictures of themselves proving society wrong and being adorable, pretty, or downright sexy chubby or fat women or men! Please email any entries and possibly a list of clothing worn to xxlashley (at) gmail (dot) com!
