I Have Diabetes.

I've avoided the topic long enough, and have even alluded to it in a recent post of mine. Over the summer, I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. Let me take this time to remind you that I am only 19 years old. Needless to say, I'm scared, lost, and find it very difficult to keep up my blog. I'd like to, but I fear that I do little more to the movement, now that I'm unhealthy, than be another fat, unhealthy statistic. I know I've seen someone else on here with it, but if I recall correctly this person is definitely older than me. I feel like a failure, and hate it when people try and cheer me up by bringing up 30 year olds who have it. Yes, that is still a young age to become a diabetic, but to hear that that's the definition of young and diabetic, well, just makes me feel even worse. I'm certain there must be someone else on here who is in a similar situation, but I have yet to find them.

I guess there are a few main reasons for me posting this. 1. I feel like I can't be a part of the movement, especially since I have this constantly growing hatred within for not avoiding this, 2. I wanted to apologize for rarely posting, 3. I need some sort of support and I don't know where to go. I feel like if I go anywhere outside the fatosphere for advice then I'll get all the shame I've already given myself, such as "why the hell didn't you eat better?" and "go die already," etc. I just didn't think my somewhat bad eating habits (I don't even eat sweets much; but I do love pasta and rice. I didn't realize carbs=sugars because I'm an idiot) would catch up with me this young. I figured yeah, down the line, if I didn't eat better I'd be unhealthy. But I didn't even know that it runs on my mom's side of the family, and that you truly can get it at any age. I just need to find some advice or something that will make me feel less alone, less like a failure, and maybe even help me to keep from hating myself. Any advice, please post in the comments. If I take a while to respond, it's because I'm giving my boyfriend the password to this so he can delete any troll comments for me so that I don't have to see them. I mean, I lost it again upon reading this post on Cake Wrecks, where she makes some losing of a foot joke. I can't keep losing it at the drop of a hat, but that's why my boyfriend will be screening my comments first; to keep trolls out and to keep me from depressing myself further.

Anyway, sorry for my detached sounding post; needless to say, during most of that my eyes weren't very clear, nor was my mind. Meh.

Thanks for listening, and thanks in advance for any advice you care to give.

xxla

Fight Fat, Feel Fit...

Because fat needs to be "fought" apparently, and the best way to do that is to use the stairs. I am fine with the using the stairs to be healthier or whatever, but this makes it sound like fat is the ultimate enemy which must be defeated or else you'll never ever be happy, or something. This picture is from my university's stairwell, btw. By the elevators there's another sign that makes me facepalm each time I see it due to how pointless it is... It says "taking the stairs burns 5 times more calories than taking the elevator" Wow, really? You mean that walking uses more calories than standing there? I had no idea, because all fat people are idiots! No wonder I'm still disgustingly fat! Thanks, "healthy life" signs!

Thoughts? Opinions? Rants? I'm cool with whatever ;3