My therapist is a jerk.

I like using titles that will hopefully get more clicks than if I were to use a simple title :) Anyway, hi everyone, sorry about the scarcity of my posts. I have returned to school once more, and am spending even more time with my boyfriend due to the fact that I am at his school for a semester! It's quite nice. In regards to my health, I am feeling much better now that I am truly participating in health at every size, meaning that I am eating healthier and exercising, causing me to feel far better than before. I hope to post more often, but it's difficult when you don't have mad study skillz (I don't). Also, sorry about the misplaced banner. I keep meaning to work on my layout edit, but I can't find time to learn the XML needed to make the layout I keep dreaming of. Let's see where I can go in the next few weeks with this :)

Somewhat recently I saw my therapist for a second time. As it was, he hadn't helped me much. I mean, my problems all have to do with the fact that I realize I'm being silly, but don't know how to change my behavior, yet his answers are always the same. "You need to realize that that behavior isn't good." Ya think? I just said that! Anyway, the last time (and I mean it... The last time) I saw him, I was discussing my plans for my health with him. I told him how I was exercising at least a half hour everyday, and how I was eating better portions through my own little quirky ways, such as by using a heart shaped bowl to eat out of whenever it's something I shouldn't be eating a whole lot of anyway. I explained my own theory to him, since I enjoy self analysis, and told him how I felt that my love of the heart bowl stemmed from a perceived and long-lasting view of myself as less than feminine, and that I might be overcompensating in ways in order to feel more feminine than I naturally am. His response was what frustrated me quite a bit, though. He said "well that makes sense... Also, you might find yourself becoming more and more feminine as you lose weight." I had told him numerous times that my goals were always becoming more healthy, not losing weight and, if I do lose weight, that it would be due to a cutback in caloric intake, not for aesthetic reasons. It frustrated me that he would try and assert that being overweight has kept me from being feminine, and for assuming that I truly wanted to be feminine at all. I mean, everyone likes to express traits associated with the other gender here and there, so it made sense to me that I would occasionally feel that I am lacking in certain ways, and compensate for that in little ways here and there. Have you ever had a similar experience with a therapist or someone simple making different assumptions?

Fat acceptance, feminism, and Japanese niche gaming collide!

Have you heard of the game Hachi Koi? Most likely not, unless you live in/have immense interest in Japanese culture/games, or you hang out in places where fat women aren't talked poorly about, but certainly aren't as empowered as the FA or feminist movements intend for them to be. Hachi Koi is a game made for the Nintendo DS that is similar to a dating simulator, but with a twist. Technabob.com described it in the following manner:

In Hachi Koi, the young male protagonist learns that he’s going to die in one month–unless he can fall in love and convince one of the title’s hapless, caressable ladies to return his feelings.

From a feminist point of view, already this game seems like most other dating sims, in that it does little more than objectify the women in the game. Of course, if you really wanted to become involved in a real, emotionally fulfilling relationship, I doubt you would play a game to do that, so it makes sense to me that dating sims would objectify to an extent. But in this one, it takes it a step further, in that the way that you seduce these women is by doing things such as rubbing suntan lotion on them, and bringing them things that make them happy. But this doesn't even begin to cover the more important aspects of this game that, whether or not you might find something wrong with them, they are certainly worthy of mention and discussion.

First off, we have this lovely cast of ladies, as found on the front page of the Hachi Koi site:And, credit being given once again to Technabob.com (as I am unsure of where that site found this series of pics), here are four which are especially important to make note of.
Again, from a feminist POV, I would like to point out how the girl with the largest breasts is treated... Her larger chest seems to also come complete with the most sexualized outfit of these four (hearts and garter belt on her lacy socks; low-cut shirt; 'come hither' stare) and definitely has the most sexualized pose of the four pictured above. Of course, I'm sure I don't need any real lead in to what I'm about to say, as you've all been thinking it since first noticing these pictures, but here's my transition sentence anyway.

They include a plus sized girl. Or, as I would refer to her in casual, non-threatening and without any real need to go over the top with completely PC terms, a fat chick. And, much to my surprise, she's rather adorable! Pink hair, shy smile, well drawn and clean, and an absolutely adorable apple shape. But with her, and my fat acceptance beliefs, I suddenly am uncertain of what to think of this game from a strictly FA POV.

On the one hand, as stated before, they portray her as pretty and cute, which is a definite step-up from how other places seem to treat larger girls. But, as you might have been clued into from the first image, they portray her as always eating. Even on her character page she is seen with food by her. Compared to the other girls, she is the only one who has the food as your interactive option. The others have more playful things (and in some cases more feminist-unfriendly things, like the girl who changes into the cheerleading outfit for her action) like basketballs and horses, whereas this girl, Kurumi, has food that, when dragged to her mouth, illicits an almost sexual response, with little moans or Japanese that sounds as if it was spoken right after an epic orgasm. Yet, even on her page, she looks like a more accurate portrayal of fat people than we usually get, in that her weight isn't being completely showcased in a negative or slobby manner, although it is used to set her apart from the others. Another thing worthy of note on her page is the fact that her measurements are hidden by a look of embarrassment:(alongside another girl's page to show that it is in fact the measurements that are hidden)

I just have to wonder, is it this way because of the stereotype of larger girls being ashamed/embarrassed about their weight? Or is she being portrayed in such a manner to either have 'you' (the player of the game) boost her self esteem so that she is either a) finally happy with her weight or b) willing to lose the weight? Maybe I'd have more insight if my major was Japanese instead of German.

My guess as to the nature of Kurumi? I would like to think that she is there for the purpose of giving the player a wide variety of girls to 'play' with, and for one reason or another they decided to include a plus sized girl with a tendency towards, dare I say, feederism. Now, I'd rather not get into a feederism debate with my lovely commenters just yet, as there shall be another post not far from now discussing it in as much of detail as I can gather. Anyway, back on topic, to be perfectly honest, I am unsure of how to feel about this game overall.

Pros

• There is a chubby girl
• Said chubby girl is portrayed in a visually nice way
• Unlike most dating sims, this gives the player many options
• It puts a somewhat positive portrayal of a fat person into a positive (?) light
• It seems as though the fetish of feederism is an option where it normally is not
  

Cons

• Women are reduced to simply that: fetishes and appearances
  
• Women fall in love with the player by being rubbed
  
• The fat girl is portrayed with a lust for food (positive for some fat admirers, negative for the fat acceptance movement)
• The fat girl succumbs to another stereotype: shame

For the sake of being perfectly honest, I still don't know what exactly to feel about this game, as stated above. It all depends from what aspect of myself I view it, assuming of course that we do know what this game is about, and aren't relying on other (possibly incorrect) translations and such. As a feminist, I dislike this game. As a realist, I understand that dating sims are usually going to be anti-feminism, as it degrades both genders as sex objects. As a fat acceptance blogger, I dislike Kurumi's portrayal as a fat girl. As a fat admirer and, dare I say, casual feedee, this gives more options to normally limited games, in that you can live out a variety of fantasies, including feeding a girl who may or may not grow (...;D) to love her looks.

So what do you, my readers out in cyberspace think of this game? What about Kurumi and her portrayal?

Also, before I head out... Found this on the main site: (drag the bagel-like thing to her mouth)
http://www.hachikoi.com/special/download.html (Script doesn't seem to work here ;A;)

Cheers,
xxla