A quick question, and some small commentary.

I have a post I plan on putting up both on here and on Facebook soon enough, but until the inspiration strikes to write it, this shall have to do. First things first, I have a couple of things to announce.
1. My boyfriend is officially an admin on this blog, which means that hopefully he shall begin posting once his workload for school dies down.
2. If you don't already, follow me on Twitter!
3. Another post I plan on writing shall be about a more controversial 'issue' related to fat admirers, about feeders and feedees, dedicated to a friend of mine who has been wanting me to defend his particular niche in the community since he read my post in defense of fat admirers.
4. I shall be two decades old in 20 days. Madness I say!

Now, on to the question for all of you that I'd like to pose, first with a comment. Whenever I judge how good I look, I find that, regardless of how good I feel about my identity as a fat girl, my judgment will almost always be based off of the opinions that might be shared by everyday society... So in other words, I judge how good I look in something based on how 'flattering' it is, 'flattering' meaning how much thinner it makes me look, how much more of a shape it gives me, or how much bigger my chest looks. In essence, the socially accepted version of what is flattering and what is not. My question for you, then, is this: Do you do this as well? Do you find that you judge how good you look in an outfit based on how slimming it is? If so, do you find this to be rather disheartening, that despite all efforts to work towards the opposite, there are still ideals within ourselves that purport the socially acceptable ways to appear? Do you find this to be a feminist issue as well? Or, do you not feel that this is a problem, and that there's nothing opposing about being happy with your body, and happy with an outfit that makes you appear slimmer/more of an hourglass figure?

Thanks in advance for your input!

xxla

A thank you, and a call to arms.

Thank you all for you amazing and kind comments, and even those of you who presented an opposing viewpoint, I thank you for weighing in on the subject as well. I am doing alright health wise, although I need to eat better and recognize that fact. I am still in awe at the amount of support I received from all of you, and will continue to keep you all posted as any developments go on.

As you can see, there is a new design on my Blog. I didn't make it myself, but I do plan on making another logo. I feel that since my life is changing and evolving, my blog should reflect that and take on a new attitude and subject matter so to speak. While I'm taking care of some important things in real life, my blog will continue to be waiting for its evolution to begin. Also, soon my boyfriend will be getting a blogspot account and posting as well, so be on the lookout for that! And, for any Twitter users, keep up with me all the time at http://twitter.com/xxla.

Also, I would like to remind all of you to vote tomorrow! Personally I feel that Barack Obama's stance on various issues such as health care, which recently became even more important to me once I was diagnosed with diabetes, abortion, which I have always considered myself pro-choice about, and other various things that I feel would make him a better choice for president. Honestly though, I care not who you choose to vote for, because it is all about who speaks to you the most. I just don't feel like I will get good health care under McCain's plan, and the same may apply to countless others with similar problems. Anyway, regardless of your political affiliation, please get out and vote tomorrow, unless you did an absentee ballot like me. We can change things for the better if we all care enough to do what we can to change things :)


Promise to post again soon, as soon as I don't have two papers auf Deutsch and a CIV paper due, heh... ^^;

And for inspiration:



Also, sorry if this post didn't make much sense or didn't flow well; my visual snow//depersonalization/derealization has been kinda bad today ^^;;;

Later all,

xxla

I Have Diabetes.

I've avoided the topic long enough, and have even alluded to it in a recent post of mine. Over the summer, I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. Let me take this time to remind you that I am only 19 years old. Needless to say, I'm scared, lost, and find it very difficult to keep up my blog. I'd like to, but I fear that I do little more to the movement, now that I'm unhealthy, than be another fat, unhealthy statistic. I know I've seen someone else on here with it, but if I recall correctly this person is definitely older than me. I feel like a failure, and hate it when people try and cheer me up by bringing up 30 year olds who have it. Yes, that is still a young age to become a diabetic, but to hear that that's the definition of young and diabetic, well, just makes me feel even worse. I'm certain there must be someone else on here who is in a similar situation, but I have yet to find them.

I guess there are a few main reasons for me posting this. 1. I feel like I can't be a part of the movement, especially since I have this constantly growing hatred within for not avoiding this, 2. I wanted to apologize for rarely posting, 3. I need some sort of support and I don't know where to go. I feel like if I go anywhere outside the fatosphere for advice then I'll get all the shame I've already given myself, such as "why the hell didn't you eat better?" and "go die already," etc. I just didn't think my somewhat bad eating habits (I don't even eat sweets much; but I do love pasta and rice. I didn't realize carbs=sugars because I'm an idiot) would catch up with me this young. I figured yeah, down the line, if I didn't eat better I'd be unhealthy. But I didn't even know that it runs on my mom's side of the family, and that you truly can get it at any age. I just need to find some advice or something that will make me feel less alone, less like a failure, and maybe even help me to keep from hating myself. Any advice, please post in the comments. If I take a while to respond, it's because I'm giving my boyfriend the password to this so he can delete any troll comments for me so that I don't have to see them. I mean, I lost it again upon reading this post on Cake Wrecks, where she makes some losing of a foot joke. I can't keep losing it at the drop of a hat, but that's why my boyfriend will be screening my comments first; to keep trolls out and to keep me from depressing myself further.

Anyway, sorry for my detached sounding post; needless to say, during most of that my eyes weren't very clear, nor was my mind. Meh.

Thanks for listening, and thanks in advance for any advice you care to give.

xxla

Fight Fat, Feel Fit...

Because fat needs to be "fought" apparently, and the best way to do that is to use the stairs. I am fine with the using the stairs to be healthier or whatever, but this makes it sound like fat is the ultimate enemy which must be defeated or else you'll never ever be happy, or something. This picture is from my university's stairwell, btw. By the elevators there's another sign that makes me facepalm each time I see it due to how pointless it is... It says "taking the stairs burns 5 times more calories than taking the elevator" Wow, really? You mean that walking uses more calories than standing there? I had no idea, because all fat people are idiots! No wonder I'm still disgustingly fat! Thanks, "healthy life" signs!

Thoughts? Opinions? Rants? I'm cool with whatever ;3

Not Always Funny is more like it...

So lately I've become a big fan of the website Not Always Right. I've been going through the archives as I do when I find a site of that nature to be amusing, and have been laughing my arse off at a majority of the stories about idiotic customers and what the employees did or said in order to get the customer back for their stupidity. Today, however, I came across a post which I found to be incredibly infuriating.

First off, I'm used to seeing customers getting what they deserve on NAR. But this? She was simply wondering why her order wasn't there yet. And, although most likely the "untold number of X's" were probably only like, 3 or something, it could be a woman that genuinely could not get out very often or maybe she can't even find underwear in her size at a store. Her being upset about the order not arriving yet seems completely justified. In addition to that, the added "customer did not have a sense of humor 'cause he got fired" bit is just ridiculous. I happen to have the ability to find almost everything funny. But framing a "joke" like this in the context of the customer "not being right," especially when there's a good chance that she can't just go anywhere and get panties, just seems incredibly rude and unfunny. If anything, saying something like that looks like he's trying to blame HER for him getting fired, when he was the one who made the entirely too unfunny joke. And the fact that this got 636 thumbs up means to me that there are 636 people who feel that the fat woman was in the wrong here. 636 people who feel that she got what she deserved, and that David is one funny man. 636 people who don't realize that the woman reporting his rude comment to the higher ups was perfectly justified because, as far as we know, she may feel safest in an online shopping environment where she can't be stared at or ridiculed for her size. Or so she thought.

Comments are not only appreciated, they're encouraged ^_^ I'm really enjoying reading everyone else's opinions on the things that I post. If you haven't yet read or commented on it, please look at the post before this one about the late professor who thinks only fatties are virgins and all virgins are fat, and the guy who finds the quote hilarious.

All Fatties Are Virgins...

First I would like to thank those of you who responded to my post asking for your opinion on the Rockwell painting. I enjoyed reading your responses and found myself seeing every point of view. That's what I love about art; it means so much to so many different people. Whereas it meant one thing to me, some of you mentioned other things I had not yet noticed or considered. I may consider turning this into more of a photo blog, whenever I feel like posting. I've been recently diagnosed with something that makes me on and off hate my size once again (you can take a guess, but I'm not sure if I'm even comfortable admitting yes or no on here. I don't even really want to talk about it just yet, at least not in a public setting such as a blog where I can easily be set off, as I'm incredibly depressed about it.). In addition to that, I've returned to my university, where I'm going to be pretty damn busy, what with two high level German classes and other things. I've been seeing some things around I want to take pictures of so we can discuss though, so keep your eyes peeled for that!

And now, I present, the real reason for my posting... A quote I found on someone's Facebook, said by a professor. A professor who died last year, so for pointing out this quote I feel somewhat bad, but at the very least we can wonder why someone would quote THIS on their facebook.

If there are as many as 72 virgins at Murray St, they weigh about 20 tons. -Dr. Beasley

That is a direct copy paste from the facebook profile, so apologies at the poor layout. But let's think about what this quote implies for a moment...

1. It implies that, on average, all virgins at my university weigh 555 pounds.
2. This then implies that fat people are incapable of finding sex, because they're sooo disgusting. Or something.
3. Whether he's talking about men or women is irrelevant, although the location of this University (the south) coupled with my inner feminist makes me believe that he's talking about women. Either way, though, this implies that everyone is constantly looking for sex, or, at the very least, no one wants to remain a virgin.
4. It implies that the ONLY reason why someone would remain a virgin is because they CAN'T find sex due to being too fat.

Uhhhm, WHAT? Not to mention that the guy who quoted Dr. Beasley also quoted him saying something about Rosie O'Donnell being a "fat lesbian." While this would technically be truth, the fact that ANYONE found it quote-worthy is beyond me. But the very idea that someone, a professor with a DOCTORATE, would say something implying that fat=virgin, is rather sad and sickening. I simply can't believe that someone like that once taught on this campus, and that I am in a class with someone who thinks it's SOOO HILARIOUS that this professor said that ALL FATTIES ARE VIRGINS 'CAUSE THEY WEIGH UPWARDS OF 500 POUNDS LOLOLOL. Ahem.

Your thoughts?

Girl in a Mirror

I came across this painting for the first time recently. I feel very strong emotions when I view it, and I would like to hear all of your opinions on this painting. Any and all please :)