XXLA

Why are boats (or cars, or nations) referred to as 'she'?

2009-06-06T15:21:00.009-05:00

Alright, so I rarely post here anymore, as I'm certain you've noticed. I've been focusing on school and getting my health in order. I'm about to move into an apartment with my friend as we prepare to transfer schools for the fall, so my mind has obviously not been in the right mindset to be making epic posts of any sort. I hope to change that, but we'll see. I haven't been thinking too much about fat acceptance stuff sadly, but I have been putting a lot of thought into feminism. This post is about boats, nations, and other things that are referred to as 'she'.

You've probably noticed that most things are assumed to be male. "Look at the cute doggy! Well hi there mister doggy!" might be something you hear coming out of you or your friends' mouths. You may even hear a bee referred to as mister bee (if you're as into personification as I am, of course) despite the fact that the chances are far greater that any bee you see is a female, as bee colonies are highly matriarchal and the men are used only to impregnate the queen. So why is all of this relevant? Because there are a few realms where this gender assumption is not made, and these include boats, cars, nations, etc. Upon googling "Why are boats female?" and other such keywords, the answers received range from logical to just plain wrong, but unsurprisingly, very few had the hint of feminist thought. My explanation differs from the logic of such answers as "other languages have gendered articles, and this is just some leftovers from years past" in that I believe that it is due to the passiveness of the 'shes' in question.

A ship was historically sailed by men, and is still today simply a mode of transportation which must be sailed by someone. A car is similar, in that it is driven, and serves only as a passive means of getting from point A to point B. A nation is somewhat different, in that it physically isn't used to go anywhere, but one is historically led by men, and, while important, is still passive in that it must be run, and cannot exist without a leader or a group of leaders allowing it to exist. For these reasons, I feel that the calling of ships, cars, and nations 'she' is actually a custom rooted in sexism. Historically women have been viewed as passive beings who are to follow her husband or father's directions. It would make sense, then, that such passively controlled things as modes of transportation or countries would be referred to as she. After all, it has been the perception of our society that women are to be controlled and looked after, so that they may live out their lives serving the important men in their lives.

Who knows, perhaps there is a better explanation than I happened to stumble upon, but from what I can tell, considering how passive these things are, and how most things are assumed to be male otherwise, I feel that there seems to be a definite correlation between the two.

(For more feminist-related stuff, please see my other, easier-to-keep-up-because-it-requires-less-time-and-thought blog at The Female Gaze)

My therapist is a jerk.

2009-02-15T17:29:00.002-06:00

I like using titles that will hopefully get more clicks than if I were to use a simple title :) Anyway, hi everyone, sorry about the scarcity of my posts. I have returned to school once more, and am spending even more time with my boyfriend due to the fact that I am at his school for a semester! It's quite nice. In regards to my health, I am feeling much better now that I am truly participating in health at every size, meaning that I am eating healthier and exercising, causing me to feel far better than before. I hope to post more often, but it's difficult when you don't have mad study skillz (I don't). Also, sorry about the misplaced banner. I keep meaning to work on my layout edit, but I can't find time to learn the XML needed to make the layout I keep dreaming of. Let's see where I can go in the next few weeks with this :)

Somewhat recently I saw my therapist for a second time. As it was, he hadn't helped me much. I mean, my problems all have to do with the fact that I realize I'm being silly, but don't know how to change my behavior, yet his answers are always the same. "You need to realize that that behavior isn't good." Ya think? I just said that! Anyway, the last time (and I mean it... The last time) I saw him, I was discussing my plans for my health with him. I told him how I was exercising at least a half hour everyday, and how I was eating better portions through my own little quirky ways, such as by using a heart shaped bowl to eat out of whenever it's something I shouldn't be eating a whole lot of anyway. I explained my own theory to him, since I enjoy self analysis, and told him how I felt that my love of the heart bowl stemmed from a perceived and long-lasting view of myself as less than feminine, and that I might be overcompensating in ways in order to feel more feminine than I naturally am. His response was what frustrated me quite a bit, though. He said "well that makes sense... Also, you might find yourself becoming more and more feminine as you lose weight." I had told him numerous times that my goals were always becoming more healthy, not losing weight and, if I do lose weight, that it would be due to a cutback in caloric intake, not for aesthetic reasons. It frustrated me that he would try and assert that being overweight has kept me from being feminine, and for assuming that I truly wanted to be feminine at all. I mean, everyone likes to express traits associated with the other gender here and there, so it made sense to me that I would occasionally feel that I am lacking in certain ways, and compensate for that in little ways here and there. Have you ever had a similar experience with a therapist or someone simple making different assumptions?

Fat acceptance, feminism, and Japanese niche gaming collide!

2009-01-08T00:44:00.011-06:00

Have you heard of the game Hachi Koi? Most likely not, unless you live in/have immense interest in Japanese culture/games, or you hang out in places where fat women aren't talked poorly about, but certainly aren't as empowered as the FA or feminist movements intend for them to be. Hachi Koi is a game made for the Nintendo DS that is similar to a dating simulator, but with a twist. Technabob.com described it in the following manner:

In Hachi Koi, the young male protagonist learns that he’s going to die in one month–unless he can fall in love and convince one of the title’s hapless, caressable ladies to return his feelings.

From a feminist point of view, already this game seems like most other dating sims, in that it does little more than objectify the women in the game. Of course, if you really wanted to become involved in a real, emotionally fulfilling relationship, I doubt you would play a game to do that, so it makes sense to me that dating sims would objectify to an extent. But in this one, it takes it a step further, in that the way that you seduce these women is by doing things such as rubbing suntan lotion on them, and bringing them things that make them happy. But this doesn't even begin to cover the more important aspects of this game that, whether or not you might find something wrong with them, they are certainly worthy of mention and discussion.

First off, we have this lovely cast of ladies, as found on the front page of the Hachi Koi site:And, credit being given once again to Technabob.com (as I am unsure of where that site found this series of pics), here are four which are especially important to make note of.
Again, from a feminist POV, I would like to point out how the girl with the largest breasts is treated... Her larger chest seems to also come complete with the most sexualized outfit of these four (hearts and garter belt on her lacy socks; low-cut shirt; 'come hither' stare) and definitely has the most sexualized pose of the four pictured above. Of course, I'm sure I don't need any real lead in to what I'm about to say, as you've all been thinking it since first noticing these pictures, but here's my transition sentence anyway.

They include a plus sized girl. Or, as I would refer to her in casual, non-threatening and without any real need to go over the top with completely PC terms, a fat chick. And, much to my surprise, she's rather adorable! Pink hair, shy smile, well drawn and clean, and an absolutely adorable apple shape. But with her, and my fat acceptance beliefs, I suddenly am uncertain of what to think of this game from a strictly FA POV.

On the one hand, as stated before, they portray her as pretty and cute, which is a definite step-up from how other places seem to treat larger girls. But, as you might have been clued into from the first image, they portray her as always eating. Even on her character p age she is seen with food by her. Compared to the other girls, she is the only one who has the food as your interactive option. The others have more playful things (and in some cases more feminist-unfriendly things, like the girl who changes into the cheerleading outfit for her action) like basketballs and horses, whereas this girl, Kurumi, has food that, when dragged to her mouth, illicits an almost sexual response, with little moans or Japanese that sounds as if it was spoken right after an epic orgasm. Yet, even on her page, she looks like a more accurate portrayal of fat people than we usually get, in that her weight isn't being completely showcased in a negative or slobby manner, although it is used to set her apart from the others. Another thing worthy of note on her page is the fact that her measurements are hidden by a look of embarrassment:(alongside another girl's page to show that it is in fact the measurements that are hidden)

I just have to wonder, is it this way because of the stereotype of larger girls being ashamed/embarrassed about their weight? Or is she being portrayed in such a manner to either have 'you' (the player of the game) boost her self esteem so that she is either a) finally happy with her weight or b) willing to lose the weight? Maybe I'd have more insight if my major was Japanese instead of German.

My guess as to the nature of Kurumi? I would like to think that she is there for the purpose of giving the player a wide variety of girls to 'play' with, and for one reason or another they decided to include a plus sized girl with a tendency towards, dare I say, feederism. Now, I'd rather not get into a feederism debate with my lovely commenters just yet, as there shall be another post not far from now discussing it in as much of detail as I can gather. Anyway, back on topic, to be perfectly honest, I am unsure of how to feel about this game overall.

Pros

There is a chubby girl
Said chubby girl is portrayed in a visually nice way
Unlike most dating sims, this gives the player many options
It puts a somewhat positive portrayal of a fat person into a positive (?) light
It seems as though the fetish of feederism is an option where it normally is not

Cons

Women are reduced to simply that: fetishes and appearances
Women fall in love with the player by being rubbed
The fat girl is portrayed with a lust for food (positive for some fat admirers, negative for the fat acceptance movement)
The fat girl succumbs to another stereotype: shame

For the sake of being perfectly honest, I still don't know what exactly to feel about this game, as stated above. It all depends from what aspect of myself I view it, assuming of course that we do know what this game is about, and aren't relying on other (possibly incorrect) translations and such. As a feminist, I dislike this game. As a realist, I understand that dating sims are usually going to be anti-feminism, as it degrades both genders as sex objects. As a fat acceptance blogger, I dislike Kurumi's portrayal as a fat girl. As a fat admirer and, dare I say, casual feedee, this gives more options to normally limited games, in that you can live out a variety of fantasies, including feeding a girl who may or may not grow (...;D) to love her looks.

So what do you, my readers out in cyberspace think of this game? What about Kurumi and her portrayal?

Also, before I head out... Found this on the main site: (drag the bagel-like thing to her mouth)
http://www.hachikoi.com/special/download.html (Script doesn't seem to work here ;A;)

Cheers,
xxla

XXLA is finally back!

2009-01-08T00:37:00.002-06:00

Hey everyone! My apologies for not having posted in a while; what with my transitioning from my school 400 miles from home back to home and the holiday season, it was difficult to find inspiration to post, let alone actually getting around to it. I still have a little bit of time before I go back to school, so I plan to take advantage of it! I have a post planned that should be published tomorrow, and still have back posts to make up for. Thanks again for voting in the poll from the previous post! If you've yet to do so, please check it out so I have a better idea what areas to focus on in the future. Hope to "see" you guys tomorrow when my post (which I'm about to begin working on after posting this) is finished and published. Hope your holiday season was better than mine!

Check back tomorrow! <3

xxla

mini-post monday

2008-11-24T14:46:00.003-06:00

I doubt that this will be a recurring theme, but I felt like making a post to update those of you who seem to enjoy reading about the lives of others (I know I do, 'cause I'm nosy like that). Today my boyfriend and I are celebrating our one year anniversary! It's incredibly exciting. I'll spare you all the cheesy lines about how happy I am, yadda yadda, and leave it at the fact that I am quite happy about it.

On topic with the blog, I would like to remind everyone first off of the posts to come:

Certainly my boyfriend will have a post sooner rather than later, since he did so well on his first post
The post in defense of feeders and feedees, dedicated to my friend, AKA Spencer. If you read the comments, most likely you will have seen his name by now.
CHANGE! I wanted to write this post when the title and reoccurring theme would have been more relevant, but alas, I'll just have to accompany this post with a picture of Slowpoke. The change will be related to the changes I've incurred over the past year, and some other important changes.

Bear with me in the coming months, as I will be undergoing one transition after another as I attend another school in the Spring semester, and hopefully yet another school for the coming Fall semester. More on that in the change post.

And last but not least, I would like to thank Sociological Images for linking to my post after I suggested that they cover Risk's manification. Please go here to see their post regarding Risk, or go here to simply view their awesome photoblog.

Now, because I'm curious... Here's a poll that I would love some responses to!

Of these choices, what would you like to see more of on xxla? ( surveys)

xxla

ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH TO ADHERE TO GENDER ROLES!?

2008-11-20T22:24:00.008-06:00

So I'm going to make the assumption that everyone reading this is familiar with the board game Risk. If not, Wikipedia would be more than happy to explain the nature of this board game with the object of world domination. Alright, those who clicked the Wikipedia link, caught up to speed now? Good, good. In my opinion, Risk has always been one of those games high up with Clue and Monopoly, where if you haven't at least played it, you could find a box with ease at a friend's house, a garage sale, or your neighbor's house. For some, the greatness of Risk surpasses games like Battleship, or the above mentioned thoughtful classics. When my boyfriend first found out that Risk was getting a new look, and ditching its older, outdated style, he looked at it with a positive view, saying that he was excited about it. Being someone with a goal of world domination as well, I too was interested at the idea of this new and supposedly improved Risk game. I went to the Hasbro website, where he and I were both immediately disappointed with the images we were being bombarded with. Sure, I expected a more modern look, but what I saw was little more than blatant sexism, enforcing the gender roles expected of men full force. Now I know what you're thinking... "Now now, we see a lot of bad things enforcing silly gender roles, it can't be THAT bad!" Oh yes, naysayers. Yes it can.

The first image you are greeted with on the official Risk website is this:

And for those lovely tidbits you can't see, here's this gem close-up:And yes, that says "bring your foes to their knees..." That ellipsis only furthers the implication that one might think up when seeing things telling players of a game, which apparently you have to be male to play, to "get on their knees" for them. Yyyyeah.

And towards the bottom is this picture, which isn't in the first screen cap:
ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH TO PLAY A BOARDGAME!?!?
A: Unfortunately no, as I was born without a penis. *cries* I guess I just can't take the risk of hurting my fragile female psyche. I'll just go back to the kitchen and make you manly men a sandwich for your intense game... of the board variety. (Also, just noticed this... Is that a pickup truck bed right above the arrow furthest left?)

On this website, the Board Game Geeks review the game before its mainstream release. While browsing through their photo gallery, I came across a card from this game that is also incredibly relevant.

In case the point wasn't driven home enough by the phrase "ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH?" being dropped everywhere like ticker tape in a welcome home parade, they apparently wanted to avoid any possibility of confusion. The winner will be a man. And he gets to demand that people refer to him as sir. I guess the game of Risk is now all about declaring one's self the alpha male.

So, why do I make such a big deal out of all of these things? For one, I hate hate hate gender roles. The idea that playing this game will allow boys to become MEN is ridiculous, because it seems like the only thing it promotes is combat. Since apparently all men want to fight each other all the time, and constantly compete. You're apparently not a man if you don't wish to do that, or so it implies. Another issue I have with this, is that I don't think it's any different from the sexualization of Strawberry Shortcake, as seen and discussed in more detail on Sociological Images. Whereas classic girl things are becoming more "feminine" to fit today's standards, the boy toys are doing the same thing. True, Risk would be intended for an older crowd, but it still puts forth the Axe logic, that men must be demeaned and called something other than men so that they feel inadequate and must purchase said product. Lastly, this frustrates me a great deal because I feel like, as a woman, new Risk doesn't even want my business. Ask anyone who knows me past pointless short talk, and they will confirm that I am quite interested in the prospect of world domination. A game like Risk is right up my alley! But apparently Hasbro (Now with more 'bro!') doesn't feel that women are worth trying to market Risk to. I'll just buy one at a garage sale if I ever want a copy, then.

Sure, this has nothing to do with fat acceptance specifically. But as my ideas and opinions evolve, I wish to keep my blog evolving while I do. Also, I feel I must add that there are so many other things I find annoying with this ad campaign and design overhaul, that I'd rather not get into full detail about, lest it lose the tie-in with gender roles and become a generalized rant. I would like to at least mention, though, based on the overall design (also, pickup truck?) it seems like it's trying to emulate the design of the GO ARMY type campaigns we have in the US. Before, the game of Risk was alright in that aspect, because the characters were set in a time where expansion, conquering, and imperialism were the norms. Seeing this game made modern, and using a United States type army to achieve world domination seems like a very incorrect statement to be making during the time in which we currently live.

What do you feel about the new Risk design change? Both female and males alike, I would love to hear how the images and messages at this site make you feel. Take your comments in any direction you would like; about the gender role norms this reinforces, about how it might work to alienate women, the implications of some of the images and phrases used (i.e. "on their knees" and the pickup truck), or how it makes you feel that they seem to be promoting US world domination.

xxla

Introduction and Speculation

2008-11-10T22:05:00.000-06:00

Hi, I am XXLA’s Boyfriend.

I picked this moniker because I think it is ironic for a man to be primarily identified by his relationship to a woman, when for centuries the reverse has happened because of patriarchy, male privilege, etc.

So now you know two things about me

1) I have a horrible sense of humor

2) I am a pretentious douche

All joking aside, it is great to be blogging here. It is good to be involved in FA and feminist movements, even if my only contributions are rambling on like a Castro speech and making bad jokes.

First topic: Subcultures, Generalizability, and FA

I wanted my first blog post to be analyze the issue “Is the Nerd subculture more prone to fat acceptance than other subcultures or mainstream culture”, but then I got sidetracked by more general questions about the generalizability of subcultures. This question came to mind because, frankly, I am a Nerd and an open FA (FA meaning Fat Admirer in this context). I have shared my preference with my close Nerd friends and they are all really cool and accepting about the whole thing.

So I was going to make some kind of post questioning if my experience can be generalized into the proposition that FA (Fat Acceptance) will be well received most in Nerd social circles, asking the readers of this blog their experiences with Nerds and FA etc. . But this train of thought eventually led me to a more abstract question about what makes people think they can generalize about a subculture and that subculture will react to certain ideas. Do the tenants of ANY subculture either promote or condemn Fat Acceptance in all its members?

Because of my interest in philosophy I am really good at raising questions, but not as good at answering them. I want to know what you the reader at home thinks about this issue.

A quick question, and some small commentary.

2008-11-10T17:43:00.002-06:00

I have a post I plan on putting up both on here and on Facebook soon enough, but until the inspiration strikes to write it, this shall have to do. First things first, I have a couple of things to announce.
1. My boyfriend is officially an admin on this blog, which means that hopefully he shall begin posting once his workload for school dies down.
2. If you don't already, follow me on Twitter!
3. Another post I plan on writing shall be about a more controversial 'issue' related to fat admirers, about feeders and feedees, dedicated to a friend of mine who has been wanting me to defend his particular niche in the community since he read my post in defense of fat admirers.
4. I shall be two decades old in 20 days. Madness I say!

Now, on to the question for all of you that I'd like to pose, first with a comment. Whenever I judge how good I look, I find that, regardless of how good I feel about my identity as a fat girl, my judgment will almost always be based off of the opinions that might be shared by everyday society... So in other words, I judge how good I look in something based on how 'flattering' it is, 'flattering' meaning how much thinner it makes me look, how much more of a shape it gives me, or how much bigger my chest looks. In essence, the socially accepted version of what is flattering and what is not. My question for you, then, is this: Do you do this as well? Do you find that you judge how good you look in an outfit based on how slimming it is? If so, do you find this to be rather disheartening, that despite all efforts to work towards the opposite, there are still ideals within ourselves that purport the socially acceptable ways to appear? Do you find this to be a feminist issue as well? Or, do you not feel that this is a problem, and that there's nothing opposing about being happy with your body, and happy with an outfit that makes you appear slimmer/more of an hourglass figure?

Thanks in advance for your input!

xxla

A thank you, and a call to arms.

2008-11-03T17:17:00.002-06:00

Thank you all for you amazing and kind comments, and even those of you who presented an opposing viewpoint, I thank you for weighing in on the subject as well. I am doing alright health wise, although I need to eat better and recognize that fact. I am still in awe at the amount of support I received from all of you, and will continue to keep you all posted as any developments go on.

As you can see, there is a new design on my Blog. I didn't make it myself, but I do plan on making another logo. I feel that since my life is changing and evolving, my blog should reflect that and take on a new attitude and subject matter so to speak. While I'm taking care of some important things in real life, my blog will continue to be waiting for its evolution to begin. Also, soon my boyfriend will be getting a blogspot account and posting as well, so be on the lookout for that! And, for any Twitter users, keep up with me all the time at http://twitter.com/xxla.

Also, I would like to remind all of you to vote tomorrow! Personally I feel that Barack Obama's stance on various issues such as health care, which recently became even more important to me once I was diagnosed with diabetes, abortion, which I have always considered myself pro-choice about, and other various things that I feel would make him a better choice for president. Honestly though, I care not who you choose to vote for, because it is all about who speaks to you the most. I just don't feel like I will get good health care under McCain's plan, and the same may apply to countless others with similar problems. Anyway, regardless of your political affiliation, please get out and vote tomorrow, unless you did an absentee ballot like me. We can change things for the better if we all care enough to do what we can to change things :)

Promise to post again soon, as soon as I don't have two papers auf Deutsch and a CIV paper due, heh... ^^;

And for inspiration:

Also, sorry if this post didn't make much sense or didn't flow well; my visual snow//depersonalization/derealization has been kinda bad today ^^;;;

Later all,

xxla

I Have Diabetes.

2008-09-25T13:36:00.004-05:00

I've avoided the topic long enough, and have even alluded to it in a recent post of mine. Over the summer, I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. Let me take this time to remind you that I am only 19 years old. Needless to say, I'm scared, lost, and find it very difficult to keep up my blog. I'd like to, but I fear that I do little more to the movement, now that I'm unhealthy, than be another fat, unhealthy statistic. I know I've seen someone else on here with it, but if I recall correctly this person is definitely older than me. I feel like a failure, and hate it when people try and cheer me up by bringing up 30 year olds who have it. Yes, that is still a young age to become a diabetic, but to hear that that's the definition of young and diabetic, well, just makes me feel even worse. I'm certain there must be someone else on here who is in a similar situation, but I have yet to find them.

I guess there are a few main reasons for me posting this. 1. I feel like I can't be a part of the movement, especially since I have this constantly growing hatred within for not avoiding this, 2. I wanted to apologize for rarely posting, 3. I need some sort of support and I don't know where to go. I feel like if I go anywhere outside the fatosphere for advice then I'll get all the shame I've already given myself, such as "why the hell didn't you eat better?" and "go die already," etc. I just didn't think my somewhat bad eating habits (I don't even eat sweets much; but I do love pasta and rice. I didn't realize carbs=sugars because I'm an idiot) would catch up with me this young. I figured yeah, down the line, if I didn't eat better I'd be unhealthy. But I didn't even know that it runs on my mom's side of the family, and that you truly can get it at any age. I just need to find some advice or something that will make me feel less alone, less like a failure, and maybe even help me to keep from hating myself. Any advice, please post in the comments. If I take a while to respond, it's because I'm giving my boyfriend the password to this so he can delete any troll comments for me so that I don't have to see them. I mean, I lost it again upon reading this post on Cake Wrecks, where she makes some losing of a foot joke. I can't keep losing it at the drop of a hat, but that's why my boyfriend will be screening my comments first; to keep trolls out and to keep me from depressing myself further.

Anyway, sorry for my detached sounding post; needless to say, during most of that my eyes weren't very clear, nor was my mind. Meh.

Thanks for listening, and thanks in advance for any advice you care to give.

xxla

Fight Fat, Feel Fit...

2008-09-04T15:55:00.004-05:00

Because fat needs to be "fought" apparently, and the best way to do that is to use the stairs. I am fine with the using the stairs to be healthier or whatever, but this makes it sound like fat is the ultimate enemy which must be defeated or else you'll never ever be happy, or something. This picture is from my university's stairwell, btw. By the elevators there's another sign that makes me facepalm each time I see it due to how pointless it is... It says "taking the stairs burns 5 times more calories than taking the elevator" Wow, really? You mean that walking uses more calories than standing there? I had no idea, because all fat people are idiots! No wonder I'm still disgustingly fat! Thanks, "healthy life" signs!

Thoughts? Opinions? Rants? I'm cool with whatever ;3

Not Always Funny is more like it...

2008-08-23T17:29:00.004-05:00

So lately I've become a big fan of the website Not Always Right. I've been going through the archives as I do when I find a site of that nature to be amusing, and have been laughing my arse off at a majority of the stories about idiotic customers and what the employees did or said in order to get the customer back for their stupidity. Today, however, I came across a post which I found to be incredibly infuriating.

First off, I'm used to seeing customers getting what they deserve on NAR. But this? She was simply wondering why her order wasn't there yet. And, although most likely the "untold number of X's" were probably only like, 3 or something, it could be a woman that genuinely could not get out very often or maybe she can't even find underwear in her size at a store. Her being upset about the order not arriving yet seems completely justified. In addition to that, the added "customer did not have a sense of humor 'cause he got fired" bit is just ridiculous. I happen to have the ability to find almost everything funny. But framing a "joke" like this in the context of the customer "not being right," especially when there's a good chance that she can't just go anywhere and get panties, just seems incredibly rude and unfunny. If anything, saying something like that looks like he's trying to blame HER for him getting fired, when he was the one who made the entirely too unfunny joke. And the fact that this got 636 thumbs up means to me that there are 636 people who feel that the fat woman was in the wrong here. 636 people who feel that she got what she deserved, and that David is one funny man. 636 people who don't realize that the woman reporting his rude comment to the higher ups was perfectly justified because, as far as we know, she may feel safest in an online shopping environment where she can't be stared at or ridiculed for her size. Or so she thought.

Comments are not only appreciated, they're encouraged ^_^ I'm really enjoying reading everyone else's opinions on the things that I post. If you haven't yet read or commented on it, please look at the post before this one about the late professor who thinks only fatties are virgins and all virgins are fat, and the guy who finds the quote hilarious.

All Fatties Are Virgins...

2008-08-22T13:57:00.002-05:00

First I would like to thank those of you who responded to my post asking for your opinion on the Rockwell painting. I enjoyed reading your responses and found myself seeing every point of view. That's what I love about art; it means so much to so many different people. Whereas it meant one thing to me, some of you mentioned other things I had not yet noticed or considered. I may consider turning this into more of a photo blog, whenever I feel like posting. I've been recently diagnosed with something that makes me on and off hate my size once again (you can take a guess, but I'm not sure if I'm even comfortable admitting yes or no on here. I don't even really want to talk about it just yet, at least not in a public setting such as a blog where I can easily be set off, as I'm incredibly depressed about it.). In addition to that, I've returned to my university, where I'm going to be pretty damn busy, what with two high level German classes and other things. I've been seeing some things around I want to take pictures of so we can discuss though, so keep your eyes peeled for that!

And now, I present, the real reason for my posting... A quote I found on someone's Facebook, said by a professor. A professor who died last year, so for pointing out this quote I feel somewhat bad, but at the very least we can wonder why someone would quote THIS on their facebook.

If there are as many as 72 virgins at Murray St, they weigh about 20 tons. -Dr. Beasley

That is a direct copy paste from the facebook profile, so apologies at the poor layout. But let's think about what this quote implies for a moment...

It implies that, on average, all virgins at my university weigh 555 pounds.
This then implies that fat people are incapable of finding sex, because they're sooo disgusting. Or something.
Whether he's talking about men or women is irrelevant, although the location of this University (the south) coupled with my inner feminist makes me believe that he's talking about women. Either way, though, this implies that everyone is constantly looking for sex, or, at the very least, no one wants to remain a virgin.
It implies that the ONLY reason why someone would remain a virgin is because they CAN'T find sex due to being too fat.

Uhhhm, WHAT? Not to mention that the guy who quoted Dr. Beasley also quoted him saying something about Rosie O'Donnell being a "fat lesbian." While this would technically be truth, the fact that ANYONE found it quote-worthy is beyond me. But the very idea that someone, a professor with a DOCTORATE, would say something implying that fat=virgin, is rather sad and sickening. I simply can't believe that someone like that once taught on this campus, and that I am in a class with someone who thinks it's SOOO HILARIOUS that this professor said that ALL FATTIES ARE VIRGINS 'CAUSE THEY WEIGH UPWARDS OF 500 POUNDS LOLOLOL. Ahem.

Your thoughts?

Girl in a Mirror

2008-08-17T02:06:00.002-05:00

I came across this painting for the first time recently. I feel very strong emotions when I view it, and I would like to hear all of your opinions on this painting. Any and all please :)

Fabulous Forties (and up!) Friday I

2008-06-20T15:26:00.006-05:00

Welcome to Fabulous Forties (and up!) Friday! I only got one submission, so hopefully next Friday I can have more people contributing. And now that I'm accepting women of size of any age, and calling the general one either Fat and Fabulous Friday or Fabulous Fatty Friday, depending on which one you guys like more, I hope I can get even more submissions!

Presenting Ré Webster, mother of 4, and 43 years old. She sent some lovely pictures to start us off, and included in this post are two of the three sent in! Thanks again, Ré!

In the picture on top, she is wearing a Nike tank top from Mervyn's, Venezia Right Fit jeans from Lane Bryant, and Payless shoes. The picture on the bottom she is wearing a Wilson's Leather coat that she has had for a while, tank top from Ross, and Venezia Right Fit again. And yes, that is a motorcycle in the background of the second pic :)

If you want to have your awesome pictures shown next week, send me an email! xxlashley (at) gmail (dot) com!

Fat Admirers: Not Just Weight Gain Loving Sexists

2008-06-19T16:37:00.003-05:00

As a matter of fact, I wouldn't say that fat admirers are any more likely to be sexist than non-fat admiring men and women. Some may wish to claim that men who prefer women with fat are still treating them like an object, thus making them sexist. I find this argument to be similar to the one people occasionally try and make which pins homosexuals as pedophiles. Because the sexual preference deviates from the norm it is then assumed that they must be sex crazed individuals who would do anything, including children. Fat admirers can also often be pinned as weight gain obsessed, often leading to the assumption that they would be willing to force feed someone against their will simply for their own sexual gratification. These, of course, are all silly arguments. Just as no one body is exactly the same, no one sexuality is exactly the same. Since of all movements the fat acceptance movement should know this, then why are fat admirers often looked down upon even within our own group?

I am currently dating a fat admirer. He reads fat acceptance blogs, is open about his preference, considers himself a feminist, and accepts my body completely as it is. He is just as much into fat rights as I am, and he loves me for who I am; whether my weight be 280 pounds, 350 pounds, or 200 pounds. He would never want me to change who I naturally am for his own "sexual gain," so when I see people within the movement label fat admirers as "creepy" or something of the sort, I feel bad for him and I feel bad for what we're doing in general for fat acceptance. Of course, not everyone in the movement dislikes fat admirers.

There are some posts in the fatosphere that display fat admiration in a positive light. I found one that stuck out through a quick search through my everyday blogs, like this one written by a fat admirer guest writer on Shapely Prose called Differently Straight. He explains well that it's not just about looking past a woman's fat, nor is it dating a fat woman because she's perceived to be easy. It's a preference that should be seen as no different from preferring a certain hair color that is often looked down upon by society. There exists a message board aimed towards fat admirers who also enjoy anime (Click at your own risk... Many members are young and immature about their preference, and some parts of the forum might either make you feel even hotter due to the sizes of women they love, or feel even more like an object and result in your feminist side being angry). On this forum, before I learned as much as I have now about fat acceptance and fat admirers, I asked these fat admirers how "coming out" was for them (see post here). A lot of the responses were surprisingly sad, explaining how much their families would/do hate them for dating fat women and such. Sometimes it seems that the hatred of fat extends so far that simply preferring a fat person over a skinny person is enough to discriminate against them too. And when it extends so far that even those involved in the fat acceptance movement dislike fat admirers, I would almost venture to say that fat admirers can be in an even worse situation, where not only general society discriminates against their preference, but they can also be looked down upon in the one place they may expect to fit in: the fat acceptance group.

In The Rotund's newest post by a guest blogger, I Am Mad at Candye Kane is mostly about being honest about one's weight. The writer threw in little comments about fat admirers though that made her seem a little less accepting as one should aspire to be in the fatosphere. She makes statements such as "[in regards to Candye Kane's songs] Some of them are borderline BBW/chubby-chaser-esque which makes me cringe...", and "[about the usage of fat terms in personal ads]... Forget about using the dread word 'fat' in a personal because it only brings out the fetishists, and they don’t want me any more than I want them." This wasn't the focus of the article of course, but a fat person doesn't have to be the center of a television show in order to showcase a dislike for them and have it be an issue.

I suppose all of this rambling is to make the point that fat admirers are not creepy fetishists who care only about fat. They're not sexist, they don't take advantage of fat women because of their size and sometimes fragile opinions of themselves, and in addition to that they're truly an important area of fat acceptance that people often overlook or feel disgusted by. There are always going to be people who go against what I've stated fat admirers to be, and that's to be expected. Perverts are perverts, regardless of the preference they have to be perverted towards. Just because a preference is perceived to be perverse, most definitely does not make it so. I for one am entirely happy with my dating a fat admirer, as it is wonderful having someone who loves every single bit of me, and finds every bit of my body attractive. It may be odd for some people to accept that a part of themselves they once hated becomes something a significant other is attracted to, but to think of it as being no different as someone preferring blondes over brunettes, et cetera, it really doesn't seem so strange, does it? So next time you come across a fat admirer, don't write them off as someone with a creepy fetish, but keep in mind that they are most likely just like you or me, only they really like that which most of us at one point hated: fat.

ALSO: I have yet to receive any entries for my forties friday, so I've decided to make it all inclusive of all ages and call it Fabulous Fatty Friday! Anyone can submit pictures of themselves proving society wrong and being adorable, pretty, or downright sexy chubby or fat women or men! Please email any entries and possibly a list of clothing worn to xxlashley (at) gmail (dot) com!

XXLA apologizes and also has an epic plan to make up for it!

2008-06-17T18:51:00.003-05:00

So I've gotten a lot of negative responses for the title of my post made today/last night. I would like to whole heartedly apologize for being so unaware of the implications of my title choice. The new title more accurately displays the type of attitude I was going for, and the old title I had was simply ignorant and rude, and I'm incredibly sorry for making any implications that I think negatively of any of my fellow size acceptance sisters! Keep in mind that it was about 1 AM after a loooong day of being at a hospital, getting only three hours of sleep, and generally worrying myself all day. Plus, as a 19 year old female, it's easy to forget the implications of a title such as that.

To make up for my accidental ageist mistake, I would like to invite all women 40 and up to participate in a weekly post I plan to make, called Fabulous Forties (and up!) Friday. Prove to us silly young ones that style, like a fine wine, is better with age! Send in pictures of you showing how awesome you are and every Friday the first three (or more, depending on what kind of response I get!) will be featured on the post! I also request that if you have a full body pic or a picture that shows fashion of any sort that you let me know where you got said items so that I may inform the readers of where to go to get whatever awesomeness you may be wearing!

Thanks for still being positive in the comments when telling me how wrong my title sounded ^^;;

email me at xxlashley (at) gmail (dot com)
xxla

Attention Plus Size Stores: I love my body and wish to convey that thought through my clothing choices; please create clothing accordingly.

2008-06-17T00:19:00.004-05:00

I often rant to myself while browsing plus size shops online or in person... Most of the clothing seems to be cut in such a way that it's clearly trying to cover you up instead of making you look better. Or, another pet peeve, clothing marked as "tummy shaper! Hides your unflattering spots!" or "special blah blah blah hides your disgusting flab and makes you look attractive to the rest of society!" etc. So, when I became interested in a style/theme that required me to find a lot of not so easily found clothing items, I was concerned that I would be unable to find anything to work. (The style is called Steampunk. Click the word for the Wikipedia article!) Partially due to the fact that suddenly vests are in style, and partially due to the fact that I am one kickass shopper, I was able to complete a few pretty awesome outfits! Unfortunately for my boyfriend, whose pantsize is around a 44x32, we've been having a difficult time finding good clothing for him to wear. If anyone has any suggestions for some awesome plus size guy clothing, we'd really appreciate it!

The plan is to begin blogging again soon, and not just like I said before. This time it's FOR SERIOUS :O And we all know that the internet is serious business.

And now, pictures of me in my outfit and a list of where I got the stuff for those of you who feel so inclined to know!

Goggles: Antique welding goggles from an antique store
Necklace: Claire's boutique
Tank top: Torrid
Vest: Freestyle Revolution brand at Torrid
Bottoms: Same brand, same place.

Vest: Thrift store <3
Shirt: Newport News/Spiegel
Bag: Thrift store, again :3
Leg warmers: (kinda tight for my fat calves XD) goodgoth.com
Skirt: Torrid

Shirt: Goodgoth.com
Vest: Goodgoth.com
Skirt: Same as before; Torrid

I haven't died. Promise!

2008-02-18T16:03:00.002-06:00

After toying with this thought for a while, and after some encouragement from a friend, I have decided to return to the world of blogging. I won't be aiming for everyday, but I am hoping for once a week or more, depending on my workload. Also, I don't plan to be monitoring other fat acceptance blogs as closely as before, mostly because that was a big reason why I had to take such a long hiatus. Want me to explain further? New paragraph tiem!

Although a large part of my hesitance to blog has been due to my going to college, the shift from weekly blogging to never blogging came mostly because of crazy anxiety being caused by the things I heard daily. I would keep up to date with other blogs every day and each time I heard about something that made me more and more angry. Although I'm not sure if this was really the reason, during this time I continued to have bouts of extreme frustration, annoyance, and overall mood swings that would result in me at one point having my friend make a drawing that said "I <3 Ash" so I could look at it whenever I needed to calm down. Since then I've been feeling a lot better, but I don't want to take any chances so I will most likely NOT be using this to complain, as a lot of people might do. My plan is to simply do as I promised: Blog as a 19 year old college student.

Some new things that I feel I should mention about myself are as follows:

I now have an amazing boyfriend who is an FA.
I have come to the realization that sometimes x really IS just x.
I really should be studying for my German 441 exam right now.
I worked REALLY hard to find the username I used to sign in to Blogger, so, my adoring fans, be proud of the effort poured into this ^_~
Coming back to nice comments on my recent posts made me happy.

I hope you guys forgive me and will decide to check my blog again to see that I have posted!

Sorry I've Been Gone For a While!

2007-09-04T00:36:00.000-05:00

As many of you know, I was set to become a college student this year... Well, as you might have guessed, my blogging absence has been due to my getting ready and becoming situated here at Murray State in Kentucky! I need to start reading blogs again to get some inspiration going, but I will say a few things that I hope to touch upon in the future:

Why do we assume that people always mean the worst when something is said to us? Is this just a fat person thing? For that matter, is it only me?
I love Kashi. Healthy food on a mission to make you healthy, not neccessarily thin? Woot! That's at least the message I get from commercials. More to come!
The south... More accepting of t3h fat?

I hope to blog regularly again soon! Thanks for comments all :D

Having Fat Friends Make You Fat-Thank goodness it isn't too late! >_>

2007-07-28T20:08:00.001-05:00

Wow. I honestly have nothing better to say that sums up how this press release (links to Sandy's article about said press release) makes me feel. Sandy Szwarc said it best, that it's "nothing more than thinly veiled hate speech." But to think that so many news outlets picked up on this almost immediately scares me half to death. Why? I'm going off to college next month, and if some people are scared enough into believing this, I'm afraid it will make me a social leper even if I overcome my slight social anxiety.

I probably sound a tad selfish here, but I guess it's all right because this blog is supposed to be about a college-age fat chick. I suppose there isn't much to worry about, using the same excuse my mom would use for my ramblings at a young age of "If I wasn't fat, I'd be soooo popular...", that I shouldn't be friends with someone who would be mean enough to judge me by my size anyways. But you know what? A lot of normally nice, health conscious individuals who believe that authority is always correct (hah, I wouldn't want to befriend someone like that either!), may read this and think, "Dang, now I'm going to become fat by hanging around fatties! I guess my 'health' is more important..." and they'll drop their fat friends and not think twice.

I believe that this is where the main problem lies... People now have the perfect thing to rely on while making judgments against fat people, and why they don't like them: "I don't want to be fat! The best way to be thin is to hate fatties! That's what I get from this article... Lose some weight and then we'll talk!" And you know what? No one will question it. If someone waves that article in your face, you might just believe that they have a legit excuse to dislike you. But always remember that no one has a legitimate excuse to dislike you for your size. And if someone thinks they do? Then they're not worth being around, because they'll only bring you down. Accept yourself for who you are, and don't accept others into your life unless they will grant your body the same respect you've given it.

Trying to Loose Weight?

2007-07-26T21:48:00.000-05:00

Uhm, ew. Just imagine that for a moment: Weight that's being held loosely by your skin? You could weigh like, 140 pounds and be wearing a size 20 with that loose weight. Blech. OH wait, are you confused? If you are, then I guess you don't know the difference between LOOSE and LOSE. If you are trying to lose weight, then I suppose I could understand that a bit more than aspiring to obtain amounts of loose weight around your midsection and the likes.

That little rant out of the way, I would like to present to you my actual post:

JUSTIFYING A DIET

Many people involved in Fat Acceptance seem to be under the impression that you cannot go on a diet and still consider yourself a part of the movement. Although I will admit that I find it difficult to read a fat acceptance blog and not feel a bit betrayed when I read about their Weight Watcher's initiatives, and when I see those things I usually choose to not continue reading the blog. Despite these feelings, however, a diet isn't always a jab at fat acceptance. There are actually many reasons why someone may want to diet that have nothing to do with "rejecting the movement." These reasons for justifiable dieting are below.

HEALTH REASONS
No no no no no, I do not mean in the sense of "OMG FAT KILLZ," however, in the "OMG I CAN'T WALK" way. If you have a bad knee, it's probably not a good idea to weigh a lot, because that just puts more strain on said knee. Sure this isn't always the case in those situations I'm sure, but wouldn't you understand if someone in the movement was losing weight because they were in excruciating pain due to the strain? Also, for another walking impairment related excuse, if you are nearing immobility and wish to still be able to move, you would want to work your best to not reach that point.

DISCOMFORT
Most people know where they feel most comfortable in every sense. You know which way to sit on the couch to reach your ultimate comfort level, same goes for laying on a bed and even dressing. Well, it would only make sense that you would feel the same way about weights. Some people would never feel comfortable at 130, some would never feel comfortable below 300. If you're someone who feels that your body naturally settles in the 250 range, and you find yourself reaching 320, more than likely you're not going to feel right in your own skin. No, I'm not talking about vanity; I'm talking about what you feel most comfortable with on your body. If you stray far from your naturally predisposed weight, it would only make sense to want to get back to where you feel you naturally belong.

Also, please note: If these viewpoints are still a bit warped from your perspective, please let me know. I want to fully comprehend the movement, and if I still sound like I'm coming from a slightly lesser, yet still warped societal mindset, feel free to set me straight via comments and such. Although I feel as if all above reasons are good enough to embark on a diet, if you disagree, lemme know :3

Me? On Internet Radio?

2007-07-06T21:38:00.000-05:00

It's true! I was selected to be a part of the panel at Meet The Bloggers, an Indiana based internet radio show. The theme of this Sunday's show will be body image in America, with emphasis on the fat acceptance movement. I'm so happy to be able to do this, especially considering how new I am to this! I guess being the "youngest fat acceptance blogger" (at least, youngest known to Kate Harding, who knows all O,o) gets you places quickly! Well, either way, great fun is to be had. Please check it out! There will also be an interview with Joy Nash played!

Note: Big thanks to Kate and Joh for this opportunity!

My Acceptance Story

2007-07-05T20:29:00.000-05:00

I figured it was only right that I eventually made a biographical post regarding the very topic I focus some of my time on here to, which is, of course, fat acceptance.

Ever since I was young, I have been bigger than average. In grade school I was heavier, in middle school I was heavier, and in high school I was heavier. Never once did I fit "average," and never once did I truly felt as if I belonged.

Up until middle school, I tried so hard to be popular. I still remember switching from the Christian school I went to into public school for third grade. My best friend in my neighborhood practically ignored me at school because she was popular. I remember one time she told me that her friends would like me if I wasn't fat. Needless to say, that did nothing to boost my already waning self esteem. I even went and tried to shop at Abercrombie once... I was able to get one girls shirt, and I got a guys shirt that said ABERCROMBIE across the chest. I remembered being so excited, because I just knew that they would accept me then. We even had a field trip shortly thereafter, and I took the Abercrombie bag to carry some people's lunches in, just so people would see it. Not surprisingly, however, it didn't help one bit. In 8th grade I decided to take a different route: faux punk.

8th grade for me was the beginning of the era I believe we are currently in; where everyone wants to be punk/emo/sXe/whatever. I made a subconscious decision that if I couldn't fit in with the majority because of my 'fat girl' stigma, I would go out of my way to be eccentric, and I did. But even though I was doing what I wanted to do, and getting my name attached more to "that weirdo" than "that fat girl," I still didn't truly accept myself. I still don't completely, but I didn't really make any good advancements until my ex Zach and I began going out my Junior year. Once I started dating him, I went from band tees to form-fitting clothing that still fit my persona. When I looked in the mirror, I no longer saw a fat blob, but a woman with some curves. Of course, I still didn't know anything about fat acceptance, so this transformation was minuscule in comparison to what I made just last year. In fact, before I discovered FA and HAES, I used to put different people into different categories... Fat, attractive, or just guys. Seriously, every girl I saw I would size up immediately, and if she was skinny, unless other factors were present my inner judgment meter would tell me that she's too high up there for me to reach, so forget about that friendship.

I first discovered fat acceptance through a long line of links, ultimately starting with a goals website called 43things.com. For a while I would search for keywords such as "fat" on pages like that or YouTube just to mentally hurt myself, I guess. But one time, I discovered on 43things many people with goals of gaining X lbs, feeding their girlfriend, getting a fat girlfriend, etc. My internalized fat hatred said "WHAA? PEOPLE WANT TO BE FAT?! PREPOSTEROUS!!" But I was curious! I found a girl on there who said she wanted to become quite large, and I contacted her with the purpose of telling her how much respect I had for her in a world where thin=beautiful and fat=ugly. She responded fairly quickly, only to reveal to me that she in fact was a he who preferred fat girls. This was even greater of a shock, though! A man who fat girls?? W-HAT? I continued to talk to him about his FAism and things of that nature, and he sent me to FattyMcBlog. From there I became interested in reading blogs, only to discover a multitude of other blogs that have done wonders on my self-esteem. Each day, I read something new that boosts my confidence.

I actually look in the mirror and think "DAMN, I'M HOT!" on most occasions now. I am happy to have discovered this love of myself at 18, as opposed to 25+ as some bloggers still struggling with acceptance seem to be. I still have a little ways to go, and I get pissed off pretty easily in regards to the subject, but that's because all of my self-loathing has gone into the loathing of others ^_^

So that last bit didn't sound so great, but it's better than that first half up there, eh?

Important Question about Sizes and Such!

2007-06-22T00:28:00.000-05:00

Here I am, pondering...

So I'm going to be going to Six Flags soon, more than likely, and I need some quick advice from some of you.. I've been Googling this to no avail, and I need a quick question answered: Am I too fat to ride the rides? If I am too fat to ride at least some, which ones can I ride?

Here is the pertinent information:
I'm 5'10" and 250 pounds
My measurements are 48"-42"-51"

Any help from you out there would be greatly appreciated ^__^ I don't want to wait in line only to be turned away and humiliated... ^^;

Thanks and I promise I have a list of interesting topics to blog about... All I need to do is kick this mini-depression in the arse, and find time to finish my mini-list of other stuff to do XD

xxla

Fat Admirers...

2007-06-08T21:46:00.000-05:00

Because I feel I need to post more often, or at least on regular intervals, I thought I would ask a question I've been curious about for a while... My readers, how do you feel about FAs, or fat admirers? Would you rather someone dated you (along with personality of course ;D) because of your fat, because s/he's not an asshole about that kinda stuff, or because that's not what s/he looks for when deciding what is beautiful? Just a quick question I'd appreciate input on from, well, anyone, actually. Fatties and skinnies alike XD

Too Small>Too Big

2007-06-01T22:22:00.000-05:00

Ever since we were little children, certain ideas have been taught to us. These ideas may not have been as direct as a parent explicitly telling us what is right and/or wrong, but more often on the backs of movies, television shows, video games, and magazines. Since we were little, we have been taught a few things that still stick with a majority of society today:

Women are to be constantly searching for their man, and once he is found, life is worth living.
Yeah, this idea, while sounding ridiculous, is one that is being taught in pretty much every single Disney princess film ever. Cinderella, for example, ties into both points I feel like making. In this respect, she helps to further that idea because her life was simply miserable and full of chores until she met the rich and handsome prince, with whom she later lived happily ever after (or so they claim...) And, the other point?

It is better to be too small as opposed to too big. Also, ugly people are evil.
Cinderella is a prime example of this. Why? The Stepsisters of course! In fact, they were even called the ugly stepsisters! They were the ones whose gigantic feet made them realize that it was Cinderella's dainty feet the prince was after. These were the two that made Cinderella's life a living hell. What sense does it make that the ugly ones would be the evil ones? You would think that "adorably dainty" Cinderella would have the immediate upper-hand... But then again, when was the last time you saw someone who was ugly and made fun of in a children's movie? Oh yeah, uhm, maybe once or twice? Ever? Let alone someone who is fat in a movie! Example using Disney again: URSULA. You know, the evil woman beneath the sea in the Little Mermaid (and does that name not imply everything you need to know about small>big?) who tried her best to screw her over? Yeah, she was definitely quite big, and there she was, being the bully while the little mermaid struggled to get to her man. Honestly, it's this society in a nutshell, and I don't think that's because of society forming what our entertainment is, but rather, shaping what society is to/did become. Movies such as Surf's Up, about a small penguin trying to make it in a world for bigger penguins, television shows such as Hey Arnold! where the only fat kid is stupid, overeats, and is a bully, and even the character Piglet, whose mere existence as a tiny piglet implies someone who is caught behind where they are supposed to be, all only add to the idea that it's better to be too small and helpless than be big and helpless because, hey, if you're big or ugly you're just plain mean. Maybe we should just start issuing warnings to children instead of using subliminal messages in films/etc: WARNING TO CHILDREN- If someone is fat or ugly, they will be mean to you, so beat them to it! Also, if someone is dainty and helpless, be nice to them because no one else will be nice to them unless you are!

By the way, today was my last day of high school. EVAR. I'm t3h excited :)

Meredith "MeMe" Roth

2007-05-27T23:39:00.000-05:00

Since I mentioned her as a hot topic in a previous post, I have decided to extend this mention and make it an entire post. I'm actually surprised that this tidbit of information hasn't been on any of my regularly visited blogs, with the exception of a one Red No. 3. Recently MeMe (whose first name is actually Meredith, even though I think most agree that MeMe seems to describe her best) attended a YMCA meeting where she tried to throw away the sprinkles, syrups, and other things at an ice cream table. The cops were actually called on her, but it doesn't sound like she was actually arrested. It seems as though, to keep this from becoming a big deal, she went ahead and posted something on PRWeb about it acting as though it was some courageous act of some sort. All I can say is, WOWW. And in that article she talks about how the YMCA is "encouraging our children or their parents to consume even greater amounts of obesity- and diabetes- accelerating foods." So an ice cream table at the Y, which I imagine is set up to give you about a half a cup of ice cream, is encouraging you to consume great amounts of unhealthy food? If anything, I would think it was encouraging you to try a smaller serving size or something. Really, what is making a scene worth anyways? It all seems so childish... Try and sabotage a treat that's been around even longer than the anti-obesity nazis' nonsense "epidemic" and waste money spent by the YMCA to make people happy they came to the YMCA meeting? Then scream at the top of your lungs about it as if you're making a difference? She reminds me of that one person who always takes the joke just a wee bit far, you know? Like when you're joking around about how funny it would be if somebody was to steal the town mascot, MeMe would be the one in the group to go and actually do it and feel so proud, when those joking are all like, "Uhm actually, we weren't being serious..."

Also, I would like to make note of something... Since she feels she has the right to criticize Americans' bodies, I guess it's time we point out how strange her body is:

...And that program I used compressed it wayyy too much... Ah well, here's the original pic below so you know what to compare the text to! No body is "perfect" (mostly because perfection is an illusion, buut...), but I guess the closer you are to society's vision of "perfect" the more you feel you have the right to talk about how "bad" other people's bodies are.

On that note, I leave you with... TA-DA! Bigger pic of HerHer.

Mandatory Gym Class

2007-05-27T00:37:00.001-05:00

So this comic reminded me of something I feel like mentioning: I know it's been all the rage for those helpful state legislators to make bills requiring gym class for all students of x age at least y times per z. Well, back before it was cool, Illinois had this law, which meant that each and every year of my school career to this day I have had gym class. This was fun in grade school though, because my gym teacher was former speaker of the House Dennis Hastert's wife, so I would tell her to tell her husband to tell Bill Clinton I said hi. It was funny. I know she never did... XD But to the point, until middle school (junior high for those who aren't weird like our area) we had it every day, and in high school once per semester/two quarters per year, or every other day all year if you have a music class *raises hand*. So you all know how this is supposed to combat childhood obesity? Yeah, well, I was raised in a state where this has been the norm and yet, oh, what's this? I'm obese. I know, I know, it takes a lot more than just exercise to make someone larger (such as genetics, over eating, etc) but that's the point. For some, all they need is a little exercise to make them go from "flab to fab" (hahaha no.) but for many, such as me, something like mandatory gym class did not keep me from becoming obese, and I see many others my size or bigger who have been here as long as I have. It's a good thought, because children should love playing outside and vigorously and such, but I'm just saying, at least in my case, it hasn't really proven itself as a good plan, yet states keep pushing for this. Lovely.

On a side note, though, I would absolutely love it (well, a little late for me now!) if all Illinois schools put DDR in as a part of an exercise for gym class, like West Virginia schools are doing! Man, DDR rocks my socks, metaphorically of course. I was always proud to be the fat girl who could rock all on standard difficulty while skinny friends struggled on light ^_^

P.S. While trying to find out which states had mandatory gym class, and which ones did not (which I never really found), I stumbled upon this site. Anyone else find the links under the CDC section to be hilarious? "BLAH BLAH OBESITY BLAH BLAH EPIDEMIC!!!!" "BLAH BLAH ALARMIST BLAH BLAH FAT DEATH!!!!!!" ...Exclamation points GALORE!

Obesity Mad-Libs!

2007-05-27T00:02:00.000-05:00

Have you ever felt like the news about obesity just keeps going around in circles, as if they were paying sophomores in high school to play mad-libs with obesity research terms? Well, try it and see for yourself! Check out the rest of the site, too... It's like Junkfood Science only more newsy and less article-sy, if that makes sense ^^;

"Won't Somebody PLEASE Think of the Children!"

2007-05-26T17:05:00.000-05:00

As Helen Lovejoy of the Simpsons would often scream, "Won't somebody please think of the children!?" All these anti-obesity organizations seem to be screaming this every single time they try and make a point, as seen with MeMe Roth, the current "it" discussion on most fat blogs because of her statements against Jordin Sparks of American Idol. But all of this screeching for the health of children makes me wonder if perhaps, we're doing far more harm than good. An ad campaign for a health facility called MetroWest made news back in January because of their finger pointing and shaming of parents. (Click here to view various billboards and their television ad) This makes me so terrified for my children one day... After all, what with "second-hand obesity" being a new term I've heard thrown around, I'm just going to keep making those around me fat! But in all seriousness, unless I find the relatively skinny man of my dreams (what can I say? I find t3h skinny hot on guys XD) and my children get his metabolism, they are pretty much doomed to draw comparisons to their bodies when they see pictures such as these all over the place on billboards and television ads:

If I always look the same way I do now (which, I hate to say, I aspire to tweak a bit), I swear my kids are going to ask me about the second one: "Mommy, what are you doing on a billboard?" Because that girl looks about like my size. Actually, if I were to see that with nothing beneath it, I would perhaps think she was about to go and box somebody, or compete in some championship softball game because of the way she's sitting all nervous like. But how could I forget? Fat people are never on anything unless the purpose is to point out how fat they are.

But anyways, back on subject! Poor kids. Yeah, I've been on a "what are my kids going to look like/be like/live like lately, probably because upcoming college=me thinking about the future=me thinking broadly about the future. Also, I'm terrified of something like this happening. In both famous cases, as mentioned in the link, the child's weight did not change after the child was no longer in the custody of the parents. It seems as though nowadays, kids who would have, if born thirty years ago, been big anyways due to genetics, we now see their parents as these evil fiends we must conquer or else the children won't have a future and will die due to type II diabetes and such! Oh no! Hell, I was/am* an obese kid (*depends on your definition of kid, I guess) and I feel I have a pretty bright future. This fall I'm going to be well on my way to being fluent in German, and then all I'll have to worry about is whether or not the interpretor business is anti-fat O,o

The bottom line is that children are being used as the number one reason why the obesity epidemic must be conquered once and for all, without any real fool-proof plans that will help combat it, and little to no explanation for why programs that are created for the sole purpose of helping children be ~~anorexic little snobs~~ fit and healthy youngsters. Honestly, because I am super paranoid, I honestly believe that no one gives a damn about the fat kids or adults... The outspoken majority is just tired of having to look at their "disgusting flabbiness" and are looking for a good excuse to get it out of their sights. To me, that's the worst way to "think of the children."

The Double Standard: Volume I

2007-05-22T20:44:00.000-05:00

I only say "Volume I" because I'd be utterly shocked if I didn't have a post in the future titled Double Standard again, so I'm preparing! Anyways, a trend I've been noticing from stores such as Abercrombie and Fitch, H&M, Hollister, Express, and pretty much any store that's considered popular nowadays is that sizes have been downgraded to XS-L. Where stores used to keep things even, with a nice S-L or XS-XL, we now have sizes that are considered quite small as opposed to quite big. This furthers to show what my actual point is: In society, it's more acceptable to be anorexic than overweight. If you find out someone is anorexic, you immediately feel terrible for them and try to help them. If someone is overweight, however, all you can do is yell "PUT DOWN THE FORK FATTY!!" thinking that it's as simple as that. As far as you know, this overweight person could have a binge eating disorder, which is, like anorexia, considered an eating disorder. Some people are fat by design, others by poor eating habits, others still by eating disorders. If you found out someone had a binge eating disorder, you would probably tell them to just stop eating, and perhaps even bring out the aforementioned cry to "PUT DOWN THE FORK FATTY." In all honesty, though, would anyone ever tell an anorexic to "PICK UP THE FORK, SKINNY!" Unless you're Maddox or a mean Hollywood critic, the answer is more than likely NO. Why has it become so acceptable to embrace some for their illnesses, yet shun others for theirs? Now don't get me wrong, not all fat people are fat because of an eating disorder, but by the same token not all skinny people are skinny because of anorexia. We all have different body types, but the skinnier you are the more people wish to look out for you. The bigger you are, though, the more people wish to push you away. This I believe has a lot to do with the stories and movies you see as a child, but that's a post for another day!

I guess I mean to say that the moral of the story is, if someone is ill, be supportive. If someone is not ill but has a body type that society doesn't particularly agree with, accept the fact that we are all different.

NOTE: This post has been written in a slightly discombobulated fashion due to miss XXLA listening to Shiny Toy Guns and being unable to focus completely on the post. That is all.

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A Break From Fat Talk

2007-05-22T20:13:00.000-05:00

So has anyone seen Spiderman 3 yet? In case you haven't, I won't give any spoilers, but I will tell you this... As evil Spiderman, Tobey Maguire is effing HOT! I mean, he's cute anyways, but when he plays the evil role for a short amount of time, his hair becomes sexier, his clothes become sexier, he's more badass, and he's all around a much sexier man :P

...That is all.

Actually, if anyone knows where I can find more pictures of him as black spidey only not in the spiderman costume I would love you forever :3

BTW this is a bad pic, so apologies ^^; I swear he's far hotter than this in the movie!

Any other Heroes fanatics thinking Peter Petrelli??

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Staying Hip in a World Where the Hip Fear Hips!

2007-05-22T13:39:00.001-05:00

An important part of being a teenager, of course, is being hip. I for one have always gone out of my way to be the eccentric one among my friends, simply because I would rather my name be synonymous with "strange" as opposed to "that fat girl." But anyways, being hip! It's quite difficult to find nice clothing in plus sizes for younger women because most stores assume you're a mother (such as the local Lane Bryant, which has toys sitting out in the dressing room waiting area) or just an older woman who wishes to hide her body from society. Well, as a teenager, you can't really get by wearing things like that and still look good. Where I go to find clothes that embrace my age always varies, but there are quite a few awesome places out there where you can find sexy clothes for us big'ns!

STORES THAT ARE COMMONLY FOUND IN RANDOM PLACES:

Target-
I always have excellent luck at Target. Most of their normal clothing goes up to a size 17 or 19 and an XXL. Even non-clearance items are quite affordable, but the clearance is usually amazing! The only gripe I have is that the brand Mossimo in the plus sizes runs a bit small, so I, at a 20/22 just fit into a 24. But hey, it's not the number that matters, it's the fit! The tops on the other hand all seem to fit well within my normal number range.

Wal-Mart-
Okay, so their plus sizes are exactly what I described up above, made for older women and those who wish to hide. Well, all juniors products (I do believe) go up to an XXL and a 19, of which I can normally fit into the former. The regular plus sizes aren't always all bad though, where I've been able to get things on clearance from the Metro collection that are cheap, fit well, and work great with any outfit. One example of this was a black half-length arms sweater which is great for mildly chilly temperatures with really any tank top or shirt in general.

TJ Maxx-
Usually a pretty good selection, usually not too expensive, and while the juniors run SMALL (generally), the plus size section will randomly have awesome things that aren't super dowdy.

J.C. Penney-
Most of their plus size selection sucks, but Bisou Bisou and Mixit are both excellent brands. Also, J.C. Penney's prices usually aren't too high and they usually have random clearance items.

USUALLY IN A MALL NEAR YOU, BUT NOT NECESSARILY:

Torrid-
My absolute FAVORITE. Most of the time the clothes run a bit expensive, but there is always a great clearance section, and I know I've bought things full price only to find it for a third of the price two months later... I absolutely love everything they have there. It's perfect for the plus-sized girl who enjoys keeping up with the trends, is a bit punk, or simply wants something that fits well and is sexy. Whenever I hear "Shopping Spree," my first thought is, of course, of Torrid!

Lane Bryant-
The name is synonymous with plus size! Now, sometimes their stuff can be overpriced and of low quality, but usually you can find a great item or two here. Especially lately, since they have been experimenting with creating clothing that's obviously designed for a younger crowd. Also, their clearance is usually pretty awesome. (Can you tell I'm bargain hunting obsessed yet? XD)

Old Navy-
Yes yes I know, they pulled their plus size section. Keep in mind though, that their regular clothing goes up to a size 20 and XXL. I've found some excellent tops there, and their pajama pants run huge. I have them in XL and XXL and the XL fits great whereas the XXL falls down pretty easy, but are the most comfy.

BY ORDERING ONLY:

B & Lu-
I've only ordered from them once, but I was 100% satisfied. Their clothing fit really well and the prices weren't outrageous. They have a wide array of clothing available, but not nearly as much as the other stores listed technically have. Most (possibly all) clothing is actually B & Lu brand, as opposed to a lot of this brand or that brand.

Alloy-
I haven't ordered from Alloy in a while, but almost half of the items from this catalog and online based retailer go up to I believe a size 25. Not all but many tops also go to XXXL, but I have to order a XXXL normally there, and I can fit into almost all XXL's elsewhere and many XL's as well. They do have a great selection of jeans though, with inseams as long as 35". I don't know about you, but a pet peeve seen on most plus size women (even in catalogs!) is too short pants. In my opinion, flares should finish flaring alongside your shoes, not your ankles!

PLACES THAT DO NOT SPECIALIZE IN PLUS SIZES BY ANY MEANS, BUT ARE POPULAR AND OFTEN FIT:

American Eagle-
They are probably the last of the popular stores to not succumb to the popular XS-L strategy taken by many. Although their website says the XL is online only, don't be fooled! Perhaps in your area, but in mine the XL is still intact. In fact, although I can't fit into non-stretchy shirts or their specialty shirts, the Aerie underwear is quite comfy and big for XL and so are their T-Shirts. Also, online, their pants go to an 18 and the shirts extend to XXL.

Rue 21-
I've had good luck and bad luck here. Their pants don't go very large, but the shirts do fit fairly generous at times. The T-Shirts in XL are wayy too small, and appear to me to be no larger than a size 12. But the other shirts, such as the popular tunic style shirts fit very well. I would not suggest this place, though, to people who have bust to waist measurements much larger than 48-41, because I barely fit and the aforementioned measurements are those of my body.

COMING UP SOON:
Clothing stores that are not good for plus sizes that may have you wandering around hoping for the best and failing!

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Last Monday in High School... EVER.

2007-05-21T16:39:00.000-05:00

So today was my last Monday in high school... EVER!! I am so ecstatic! Seniors got pretty lucky this year because we had two snow days and because of the placement of the graduation ceremony, we don't have to make up the two snow days, while the rest of the school has to come in the Monday and Tuesday following graduation for finals! This year has simply been an amazing year... I've finally found myself and accepted myself for who I am, and although I had some real body image crises peppered in here and there, I probably became the most confident I have ever been. I've gone from being the fat and lonely girl to the big girl somewhere in between hating herself and loving every minute of living and embracing t3h curves. Okay, so I know that "hating herself" part doesn't look very good, I can assure you that it is indeed good! I'm a hell of a lot better than I was before and that's really all that matters in my eyes. I might drive myself crazy some days and be struck with horrible anxiety simply by stepping into a store such as H&M (as happened yesterday), but I'm mostly just a ~~teenager~~ CHIDULT who loves music, friends, laughing, being strange, and threatening friends in German :)

I promise, one day my posts will NOT run together like I've been doing! I love paragraphs, please don't misinterpret me :3

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The Dark Side of Compliments

2007-05-21T13:52:00.000-05:00

We've all done it... A friend of yours loses weight, or appears to have, and the first thing you do is tell them just that. "Wow, you've lost some weight! You're looking great!" You may think you're just doing them a favor, but that just goes to further instill the idea that fat does equal bad. In fact, I've read many accounts of girls who go on dangerous crash diets or come down with an illness, be it an eating disorder or a sickness that goes beyond being a mental one, only to find people with good intentions cheering them on. All this does is make someone want to lose even more weight and push even harder. I know it's a rather difficult situation to be in because really, if you do compliment them they could hurt themselves further, or if you don't they might be hurt and think no one has noticed their achievements! It's really not a good situation to be in, but I think the most diplomatic way to go about doing this is to simply reinforce the beauty that they always possessed, and congratulate them on doing so well with meeting a goal, but ask them what they feel is their healthy weight to be at. Make sure they know that every person does have the right weight for them, and that considerably missing that mark could mean serious health problems depending on the speed at which said weight is reached and how they have to keep it that way. Make sure they know that even if their natural weight is in the area of 200 pounds, it really is okay. Natural is best, after all!

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XXLA: Origin

2007-05-20T22:15:00.000-05:00

Haha this little acronym is appearing literally everywhere here, isn't it? Well, my reason for this, is because I needed to think of a good blogging name that incorporated little details about me that was slightly mysterious yet still obvious once the meaning is discovered. I am fat. My first name is Ashley. Hence, XXLA. Extra-extra large Ashley XD I feel it incorporates the attitude I'm looking for, being as how I feel there is a large demand for young fat bloggers. Don't get me wrong, I love reading stories about women who are 26 years old, married or on their own. I love reading about women who have been fat, then thin, then fat again. I love reading about recovering anorexics finding out how to love their new fat frame. I love reading about middle-aged women who found the love of their lives and stayed healthy and heart-attack free despite all anti-obesity pleas from the media and "reliable" health sources. But I am none of the above. I am 18 years old. I am about to graduate from high-school. I am going to be heading off to college this fall. I have a hell of a lot of living left to do, and why not share it with the world? Perhaps I can fill the big void left behind by the Fatty McBloggers and join the ranks of Big Fat Blog, The Rotund, and Big Fat Deal!

...Maybe ^^;

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